IGNORE .

random venting , IGNORE . i need somewhere to put it all lol .

damn i miss my partner . i remember when we first started talking . he kept hitting me up & i thought he was just some nigga trying to promote his music , i knew who he was , but not like that . he kept hittin me up & i was getting annoyed , kept ignoring him lol . then one day he gave me his number . wellllll 2 months later , i randomly went back and got it from my email to text him . and im glad i did if i do say so myself . we texted that wholeeee dayyy . i remember like it just happened . we been talking damn near a year come october . i never took him serious though . but then we started talking more & more . id be in class texting him , i even burnt my hand in cosmo on a curling iron . still got a big scar lol . next thing i know we talking 24/7 man . if we werent on the phone we were texting . even when we were busy . we still managed to talk to each other . i know he was feeling me . he was too cute . when i went to sleep at night he would text me really late , that way i woke up to something cute from him in the am . he told me the cutest shit too . he always told me though that he never knew how i felt . but one night i was at a party , and yea i was pretty gone lol . but i called him & stayed on the phone with him allllll night . niggas were trying to get at me & all , he heard it . but i went upstairs laid in bed & caked with him all night . he said thats when he knew (: thats when i knew too . when we first started talking i was a million miles away man . i had moved from kissimmee for a little to massachusetts , next thing i know my ass is back in kissimmee with him right by my side . lol i got back the weekend of valentines day . he got me a card & all this shit - too cute <3 when i got there though he had to leave for a week . we were so tied up with eachother , on webcam everynight lol . as soon as he got back , same night he came straight to my house . i remember i was so excited . at that point i already knew he played a big role in my life . he was going up in ranks like nothing . he got out the car so fast & gave me the biggest hug & kiss (: since then we been inseparable . not to long after that , late at night , we were sitting at the lakefront & he was just staring at me in my eyes . . i remember asking "why you looking at me like that" playing around & he leaned in close & whispered real low , cause i love you . that was the first time he told me . i had sooooo many butterflies in my stomach i thought i was going to passout lol . it was so soon , but it felt so right . i never met someone who completes me the way he does . we just go so good together . and in such a little time we been through so much together but it keeps bringing us closer . babyboy is my everything , and without him , im nothing . i hear his voice , my heart skips a beat , he kisses me i get goose bumps , light headed . i remember he said he thought he loved before . but nothing felt like this . he said "people search all their lives to find what we got , now i got it , and i refuse to let it go !" he always knows how to put a smile on my face , no matter what im going through . he has helped me through some of the hardest things & was always there for me . with the recent situation , its my time to prove to him , that im going to be here for him . im his rock <3 i have to be strong for the both of us . and im more the okay with that . people always talk alot too . always judging , always got something to say . but at the end of the day , dispite everyone elses opinion , its about ME & HIM . me & him got so close , we even finish eachothers sentences . we can go for hours without talking , but know what we are saying by our facial expressions . and we really did that before one time lol . i remember before him , i thought "LOVE" was such bullshit . i always thought with people its all about lust . that , that is the thing to keep people together . but now i see it for what it is . he makes me feel , amazing . its a high . his smile , his voice , his touch , just to see him is a rush . we will go far . we arnt married but he promised till death due us part . and nobody seems to understand . people under estimate it all . reality is that they are not US . they fail to see what we do , feel what we do . me & him , are like one . and we are in this to win this together . he promised me "till the end of time , i will be your protector to shield you from the bad , and love you with all i have." and till the casket drops , he is the holder of my heart . i know we have a long road ahead of us but like the saying goes . hope for the best & prepare for the worst . all i can do is put it in gods hands & let him take the lead . he needs me now more then ever , and idc what i have to do . i will be there . through thick & thin . he's my soldier , & now im going to be his little warrior . i pray everynight for the strength , for god to see US through this hard time . i know babyboy would want me to keep a smile on my face , blow off the stress & focus on whats important now . see the bigger picture , and notice the good thats in it . so im putting on my bulletproof vest , and going in with all i got ! i love you <3