Long time no talk.

Well hello world, i def. havent been on here in a while. So much has changed and im not even quite sure where to start. I was up in massachusetts, i now moved back to my moms house, actually i plan on moving out soon. Remember when i use to say fuck every guy ? And how i was OH SO afraid of commitment ? Actually i had a post on it. Welllll, i met this one guy, we've talked for a while, considering we were just friends in october, we've officially been dating almost 3 months. He is the most amazing person inside & out, i love & absolutly adore everything about him. I love the way he makes me smile till my cheeks hurt, how i can laugh out of control. I love how we can get into petty ass arguments and within 5 mins kiss & make up & act like it never happened. I even love how he gets on my nerves. I love his little belly & his soft kisses, i loveeee the way he kisses my cheeks really fast until he smile extra big. Point is i love him. Im IN love with him. He completes me & makes me feel whole. He actually has a son. I even adore his son they look SO much alike btw lmao. Anyways, im starting to sound like a pansie.

Ive stopped talking to my grandmother. I couldnt really take the way she acted when she got drunk. I cant believe how she acts now. Its insane. And i dont have time for it especially when i went to hell and back for her. She had nerve to send me a birthday card tho and it said i was the most amazing person. Tell me how that is when she said im SO rotten and an asshole. -lovely huh.

Me and my mom have been getting along alot better. Things at home are pretty good.. for now.

I think ive become addicted to piercings. I just keep feeling the need to get them, i just recently got my monroe now. I think im going to stop & move on to tattoos now.

Cosmetology is still going good for me :)
But since i moved and all this bullshit my hours got all messed up, so im just going to start all over again, i also plan on going to school now for business & marketing. Im horrible at math but we will see where this goes.

I dont really talk to many friends now as much as i did back then, i guess i kinda grew up a bit. Also i quickly realized you cant trust NOBODY except for yourself. Many people are just fake. I dont really have time for drama. Ill pass.

Anyway, i guess this is it for now, ill be sure to come back :)

real words; comming from a real bitch.

your a bitch your a lame your a coward, i thought your love was sweet untill it turned sour, you snuck up from the back and stabbed me, i aint even see it coming but i been here bleeding for weeks, got my nervous system twisted over you, im all cold now so my blood runs blue. thought we were timeless, but you were spineless, gave me a death certificate but i wont sign it.
no i will not go, even though that blow knocked me on the floor but you aint seen the last of me, turn your back on me, but you'll regret it, thats why you messed up homie.

you should've killed me.

you tried to take me out the game but im a soldier, you shot me in the heart and i came back on ya, aint got the juice to put me down i am the truth.

tried to destroy me and turn me into a monster but their aint been an obstacle that i aint conqure and you no different, just another name on the list yea im wounded but im still that bitch.

....

memories of you come back when i hear or see certain things.
i try so hard to forget what you put me through for that whole year of my life.
the year when i was young and decided you wanted to waltz back in like nothing.
then you shake my world upside down and cause me hell.

when i look up at the sky i should be thanking god im living another day.
instead i look up and cry, praying he would take me away.

as i recall you were suppose to be a father.
there is so much i could say to you.
i dont know how you and my mom even knew each other.
how you even spoke.

your pure scum of the earth. do you not see that ?
you feel the need to write me on myspace..
look for me on facebook..

as if nothing ever happened.

you are fucking sick.
maybe it was all the drugs.
who knows either way.

you have my permission to drop fucking dead.

we.

are no longer anything.
its safe to say.
that you.. drifted away.

=(

I've reached my breaking point. I can no longer endure anymore.. Thanks.

.

Hello, My name is KeaKea.

And im afraid of commitment !

Blank.

Today, As I wake up and look out my window.
I realized I lost another friend.

Its sad how life works.
Why do we die so young ?
All of us. And I can name alot of people.
Dre, Mario, Twist, Katina, Tinky, Lickson, Julieanna (My sister), Sabastian, Kenny, Now Amanda.

Its weird.
How people say god would never wish bad upon anyone.
Or put them through pain.

Yet, here I am. Sitting here. Thinking back to all these people.
He allows them into my life only to take them away permenatly afterwards.
Its sad that im starting to get use to it.

In fact. Its horrible.
Someone at my age shouldnt feel how I do.
Or experienced a portion of the stuff I have.

When I see someone hurt in front of me, dying, even dead.
It has no effect on me. How can someone grow use to that ?
It dont even move me anymore...

Im sorry..

R.I.P